So you've gone and done it. You got too informal with her and took yourself right out of the game. You started hearing words like "brother" and "bestie", and now you realize you're no longer a legitimate contender to date the woman you really want.
You're in the friend zone.
How did you get here? And better yet, what's the best way to get out of the friend zone with a girl?
Well, there are a number of approaches you can take if you find yourself trapped in the dreaded and seemingly inescapable friend zone. I'll tell you right now: redefining the nature of your relationship with that special someone isn't easy, but it’s not impossible either. The “resetting impression” technique from the Girlfriend Activation System program is probably my favorite technique for getting out of the friend zone with a girl, so check that out when you can.
You have to slowly integrate clear and well-defined boundaries, and you have to somehow get the girl in question to start viewing you in a completely different light. It's a long, hard road back up the mountain, but if you think it's worth the climb, then let's discuss a few of the ways you can free yourself from the confines of the friend zone.
1. Don't Get Desperate
When you’re attracted to a woman, you may feel like you want something more, but you may also feel helpless to change the dynamics of the current situation. This can lead to a desperate need to be around her in whatever capacity, which only solidifies the way she presently views you: as a friend.
So keep your head on straight, and retain your self-confidence. Don’t get desperate. Doing so makes you needy.
Recognize you don't just want this girl as a friend, and commit yourself to the idea of trying to achieve something else. Understand you may lose her completely in the end, but resign yourself to this, and be assured it's a worthwhile endeavor. You have to be willing to risk losing the friendship if you want to be something more.
Don't follow her around like a puppy dog. Confidence and even a touch of aloofness can go a long way towards changing her perception of you as a man.
2. Withdraw And Use The Time For Yourself
What do I mean by "withdraw"? Well, I don't mean you should stop responding to her texts or calls, but I do mean you shouldn't be at her beck and call 24 hours a day. You should lose the urgency to be around her, and you shouldn’t be in constant contact with her all day, every day.
Don't pick up the phone immediately. Don't instantly respond to text messages. Live your own life.
As you withdraw, use your free time to improve yourself. Go to the gym, read a book, learn a language, pursue your personal passions. A man with drive and ambition is incredibly attractive to any woman.
Yeah, this is going to be tough. You have to redefine the entire nature of your relationship if you want to get out of her friend zone. This means you have to make your intentions more clear.
A great way to do this is to inject some light flirtation into your regular interactions. Don't come on too strong at first. It's important to introduce the changes slowly, so you don't scare her off and send her running for the hills. You'll want to ease her into the idea of a more intimate relationship.
Start with flirting. Comment on her appearance, comment on how attractive she is, or make a joke with some playful, sexual undertones. She'll take the hint, eventually. Flirting is also a great way to gauge her reaction if you’re unsure how she really feels about you, and, when done right, one of the best ways to get out of the friend zone with a girl you really like.